How Moms Can Start a Creative Self-Care Practice When They Don’t Have the Time.

How Moms Can Start a Creative Self-Care Practice When They Don’t Have the Time.

In my previous post, I talked about ways families can use regular creative projects and Art4Healing® classes to help them during this pandemic’s stresses. Doing something creative for fun, stress relief, self-expression, and healing can really be essential, especially in times of stress. This article will help to reinforce the strong suggestion for Moms to start a creative self-care practice, even when they don’t have the time.

If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!

We have all heard some variation of the phrase that “the mother sets the emotional tone of the home” and “If mama ain’t happy, then no one’s happy!” Well, it’s often true. Being a mom and wife myself, I get this. As I explained in my about me page, I didn’t always take the time to do the creative projects I wanted to or stop and spend time reflecting on how I felt when life felt stressful. There were real consequences to not taking that time for myself. I was stressed and overwhelmed, and a lot of my relationships suffered as a result. I didn’t realize that caring for everyone else and not myself created a massive deficit for myself and my family and made me really crabby too! It came naturally for me to give to others and care about their feelings, but how about giving to myself? How about creating time for me to just relax and play with a creative project of my own? Or to check in with how I was feeling during times of too much stress. I had to develop new habits and routines for this. I had to create the time.

The Consequences of Mothers Not Taking Time for Self-Care

The consequences of mothers not taking time for self-care are huge. Whether it’s doing creative art projects, therapeutic art classes like Art4Healing®, or anything else that refills your cup, mothers need a real break sometimes to get reconnected to themselves and what their wants and needs are. Especially because they are often so used to caring for everyone else. When my kids were really young and needed me pretty much all of the time, I would often dream of having a luxurious amount of time to take long hot bubble baths or watch one of my favorite shows without interruptions. Or to give myself a really good pedicure, read a magazine or simply just take a NAP! – It seemed like I could not get a break or some alone time to save my life! It got so bad that I finally realized I had to start asking for help.

Ask for Help

When my daughter was three years old, I had that “come-to-Jesus” realization that I spoke about in a previous post and realized I had to ask my spouse to help me just get an hour alone a week of uninterrupted time. I also asked him to hold me accountable to it as I might say, “Nah…I don’t feel like it this week.” My daughter followed me around everywhere I went in our home, and you moms know – kids will follow you right into the bathroom! When I first started to take that hour per week for myself alone, I locked my bedroom door and let my husband take care of our daughter. He always cared wonderfully for her, but my daughter still wanted her mother! I would listen to her bang on the door as I tried to work on my project. My husband made sure she was cared for and entertained. We initially let her open the door a few times to see that I was in there. We reassured her that Mommy was just fine and just taking some time for herself to do a project. She soon thought it was really cool to see what new things Mommy made each week or see the progress I was making on my bigger creative projects. My daughter began to respect my time and looked forward to when she knew I was having “mommy time.” She then got to hang out with her Dad and do something she wanted to do without me. This set up a very healthy pattern for my family and me and allowed me to practice some of the self-care time I needed. I take more time for self-care nowadays, but it all started with that one hour a week.

Find One Hour a Week

I want to encourage you to find even an hour for yourself a week to work on something that’s just for you. Whether that be a creative project for fun or a therapeutic art class like Art4Healing® where you can dive deeper into exploring and expressing your feelings, or reading, watching an uninterrupted favorite show, or even just taking a nap! Try and ask for help if you need it. If you don’t have anyone to help you watch the kids so you can take this time alone, see if you can put on a show or a movie for the kids in an adjacent room that might occupy their time while you work. Leave your door open ajar so you can hear them or a video baby monitor so you can keep an eye on them. You will have more interruptions this way, but it will be better than not doing it at all. If this doesn’t work for you, try getting up an hour or so before everyone. It will take some adjustment, but you might just find that you look forward to this quiet time alone. If you are not a morning person (and I am right there with you if you’re not!), you can put the kids to bed a little earlier and take that hour for yourself after they go to bed. Maybe you give up a little bit of Real Housewives time. I know, we don’t want to do that!! You may need to experiment to figure out what works. Whatever time slot you choose, try and make the most of the time that you have by having the supplies you need for your projects readily available, so you’re not spending your whole hour digging around and finding everything just to get started.

The Days Are Long, But the Years are Short

Try to have patience with yourself and your family as you develop these habits of taking time for yourself while you have young children underfoot. These precious days won’t last forever. I am experiencing this myself as my 23-year-old daughter is out of the house now living independently at grad school. My 15-year-old son is still at home, but you know how teenagers don’t want a whole lot to do with their boring ol’ Mom anymore. These are precious years when your kids are little. “The days are long, but the years are short” is really very true. It goes by in a blink of an eye, and one day, perhaps before you’re ready for it, you will have a lot more time for yourself. I definitely have a lot more time for myself now than I did when they were little, no doubt about it, but I still struggle with creating those self-care and creative routines, especially when life gets busy and crazy. But when life is busy or crazy, that’s when taking this much-needed time for yourself is even more imperative.

Take Time to Refill Your Own Cup

Take time to refill your own cup. So often, as mothers, we are full of love and care for others. For our children, our spouse, our jobs, our friends and extended families, our children’s schools and religious organizations, and to our communities. – That’s a lot of giving to others! While that’s all really great stuff, please make sure to check in with yourself and spend some alone time doing things that restore you. Enjoy spending time with yourself and giving that love and care to yourself! Don’t pour all of this love and care into others from an empty cup.

Stop and fill your cup, Mom. You will then be able to care much better for the ones you love when your own cup is full.